Poem 16 - "In Years Hence"
In Years Hence
Avigayil Rosensweig
They thunder down the street,
all lean and erudite.
Barking laughter bears teeth
almost carnivorous;
almost carnivorous;
they hunger for wisdom.
But there is too much energy in their step,
the hair too black on their heads.
They catch it, instead, as it emanates from him,
swirls around his presence like fireflies—
which they enfold in their palms,
store inside their selves.
In later years to reach in, scoop out,
faces soft with nostalgia
and the luminescence cupped inside their hands,
delighted how bright it still glows.
They will reminisce to children or students,
Running a hand through thinning hair:
“My rebbi once said…”
(Once, I knew a great man)
When he speaks, they fall silent.
Thirty-five folding chairs scrape across the floor,
a chisel mark in the soft grain of memory.
When they pray,
their voices, deep-throated,
rumble through the house up to the rooftop,
except in some parts—
Only one boy says kaddish.
This poem is poignant and has a clear command of the senses, drawing on sight, sound and touch- thus becoming an experience rather than a 2D piece of literature. I love the way you illustrate reverence for a rabbi, how the lessons sink in over time- it sounds like its written by an old speaker, watching the arrogant youths running down the street.
ReplyDeleteIt may not be necessary, but I kind of wish there was more description of the rabbi himself- I feel like this poem could continue even longer. overall, a beautiful work demonstrating how time builds wisdom with the tools we always had but were too young and too impatient to acknowledge. Love it.
wow. this poem is absolutely beautiful! you really drew me in with all the descriptive details. I love the line "a chisel mark in the soft grain of their memories." this poem is so relatable. I'm sure we've all heard something so deep but we were to young to appreciate it but one day we'll be able to call upon it. the one line I'm not a fan of is "Barking laughter bears teeth/ almost carnivorous;" it made me thing the boys were vicious, not just young boys full of energy. i also didn't get the line "except in some parts—/Only one boy says kaddish." I'm not sure if I'm just missing something but there doesn't seem to be anything about someone passing away in the poem.... other than that, fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteSuch a gorgeous poem. It was extremely descriptive and made the reader feel like they were there. A couple lines I loved are : "Thirty-five folding chairs scrape across the floor,
ReplyDeletegouge a trail in the wood,
a chisel mark in the soft grain of their memories." Really thought besides for being well worded, it drove home the meaning of the poem. This poem really depicts the contrast of being too young too understand depth and spirituality while being surrounded by those who are emblems of it. The last stanza in particular really stressed that and I thought it was a beautiful ending to an amazing poem
Slightly updated
ReplyDeleteI really like the imagery of scooping wisdom in one's palms and retrieving it later. It's really evocative.
ReplyDelete